It’s always interesting when I run across things on the internet that jolt me back into a philosophic mood.  I never thought that such a thing would happen from coming across something like that from the blog of an intelligent design proponent.  This post brought into focus my pet peeve of intellectual honesty.  If there’s one thing I can’t stand when people try to make arguements, it’s intellectual dishonesty.

After doing a bit of reading about this author, he seems to be pretty well recognized as an ID supporter that actually adheres to some standard of intellectual honesty.  I know a few people reading this will have instantly though “ID supporter? he must be retarded,” but that is exactly the type of intellectual dishonesty that this guy tries to avoid.  Specifically take a look at #1 and #7.

Intellectual honesty was a concept that had fallen to the back of my mind.  When I first saw that title of the post in my reddit feed all of the thoughts I’ve had about it in the past, while taking philosophy classes, came rushing back.  More than anything else, I respect people for being intellectually honest, not matter which way they’re leaning.

It seems that intellectual honesty is a rare thing in this day and age.  From simple advertisements, to the travesty that is Fox News, the world at large seems to be quite an intellectually dishonest wasteland.  So much so that I am extraordinarily refreshed by the rare occurrences of honesty that I come across.  Even amongst people I talk to every day, I can pick out inconsistencies and double standards on a regular basis.  Hell, often I catch myself doing it.

Most people smoke because of the addicting nature of nicotine. Whether its the chemical addiction or the mental addiction, it’s something about the cigarette that keeps people coming back. For me though, I only ever feel a need to smoke (and no smoking while drinking at the bar doesn’t really count) is when I’m involved with girls.

Without fail, it seems that getting involved with girls just tends to through my mental world into a tailspin. It’s either the “does she like me back” but eating at the back of my brain, or the “is the a reason she hasn’t returned my call yet” bug boring a hole in my frontal lobes. Every time I meet a new girl that seems to meet my standards, I go a little crazy.

Even if I already had plans on a certain night, if there ever enters a glimmer of a chance that I could hang out with girl X, it consumed my thoughts. Once that glimmer was shattered, my night was ruined. Is temporary OCD a real thing?

At times in the past it has gotten so bad as I would start feeling nauseous because I was so nervous about the state of things with a certain girl. I lost my ability to keep myself entertained and I ended up sitting on the couch watching tv for hours just wasting time until I could try to talk to girl X.

It seems a bit dangerous admitting this tendency towards infatuation, but if I never acknowledge this I can never fix it.  And besides, I’m sure everyone’s gone through similar at some point in their lives.

Luckily, I seem to be starting to overcome this particular character flaw.  In recent weeks, I managed to reduce the craziness to the same level as being anxious about an upcoming test or due date for a paper.  I’m proud to say, I can now make a phone call, leave a message, then head out to hang out with friends or otherwise make use of the night for myself.  Quite liberating, seeing as to where I’ve come from.

Half the problem seems to arise from the fact that I don’t meet new people very often and I meet girls I’m attracted to a fraction of that time.  Scarcity breeds obsession?  I think it’s time to ramp up talking to strangers.

Just after writing that, this weird lady at the coffee shop here started talking at me about the most random stuff….  karma is a bitch I guess.  This is not the kind of talking to strangers I wanted.  This is strangers talking to me and weirding me out.

So where was I?

Ah yes, moving on.  I think if someone just slapped me whenever I meet a new girl, that should work too.

“Invictus” by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

The past two weeks have been mentally tiring.  After a two weeks on the new team, I started to get bored with just learning objective-c from a book and I was getting more and more eager to start working on actual code.  Despite having a short list of menial tasks to get me familiar with the code base a bit, I wanted something a bit more hands on. Over the last week and a half I’ve not only managed to scrounge up some stuff to do, but I’ve managed to do it without seriously breaking much.  WOOHOO!

Though it’s left me quite mentally tired, it’s helped get my brain churning again.  About a week ago while hanging out at a coffee shop with friends, we started philosophizing about the prospect of free will.  (Granted, this was after an absurd philosophic inquiry into what makes a questions a good vs worthwhile vs valid question.)  I haven’t had a good philosophy session in a while, and I think it might have been because I’ve become quite mentally lazy.  While I was on the snagit team, I often got stuck with less than mentally stimulating tasks (fix this or that bug, blah blah).  Switching to the new platform and having to deal with that learning curve seems to have jolted my brain awake again.

Throughout my day-to-day routine, I’ve been more aware of my surroundings.  I’ve also picked back up a philosophy book I started reading about six months ago, but ran out of time to sit and read.  It’s nice to get back to reading it, though I now see that had I finished this when I started, it would have given me answers to quite a few questions that were raised during my most recent philosophic discussions.  Now I just need to find a way to satisfy my craving to get out and work on my photography.  If only I knew of some more interesting spots to take pictures.

With that, I leave you with a picture of the happiest i’ve ever seen my trunk.  That’s right, five and a half cases of really tasty beer.