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Just two months ago, I had a plan.  I was getting out of the house on a reguar basis, working on my writing skills, reading philosophy, coding in my freetime, doing the things I wanted to do.  In the course of a week, that changed drastically.  Randomly, it seemed, one night my ‘me’ time flew out the window.  Mental breakdowns are not fun things.

Not my own mental breakdown, but that of a close friend of mine.  At first I had to be there for her at the end of the day, when we both were done with out obligations.  After a bit she began skipping more and more of those obligations because of this, and thus began siphoning more and more of my time.  As time went on, there she was, online more and more wanting to talk about things and getting upset if I had other things to do.  In a short period of time, I came to realize that I was the only person she really talked to anymore.  She’d stopped going to class and hanging out with friends.

Often I know I come off as a bit emotionally empty, but when asked for help or presented with someone in need, I can’t say no.  Thus, I’ve been carving out more and more of my time to try to help out my friend, though nothing I’ve done has helped her (aside from getting her to start therapy).  Recently, she’s been upset nearly 24/7 and because of it feels she needs me to be talking to her constantly, even though I have a full-time job and need to maintain a regular sleep schedule.  More often than not though, she ends up resenting me for not being there for her for the entire time she’s upset, which would be a bit impossible to do without sacrificing my job and own health.

At what point is  too much being asked of me?  At what point am I able to exercise my right to live my own life when someone is this unstable?  I’d feel terrible just abandoning her, but I also don’t want to be a parent at this point in my life.