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It’s monday night and I’m sitting in a coffee shop enjoying an espresso. People are hunkered down studying with a few exceptions of groups doing work. Despite this hectic environment, I am feeling quite a bit calmer than I have been in the past weeks. The mental chaos seems to have subsided quite, and I have managed to calm my mind down to a much more tolerable state. At times it seems like a magic switch has been flipped, though it doesn’t stay where I want it.

Of course this has all been caused by a girl and being stuck in the same frame of reference I’ve been stewing in since Freshman year of college. That stereotypical socially awkward, shy, computer nerd. Being stuck in that frame caused (and sometimes still causes) me to withdraw into away from people into the comfort of my own world. When confronted with different situations, that frame dictated how I would act.

Frames in general shape how people interact with the world. The mindset that someone views the world through can completely dominate one’s actions. Where the socially awkward computer nerd sees a group of people about to judge him, a social badass sees a group of new friends. Most people are not even conscious of how our mind frames things and how much it plays into how we act.

Last week I was stuck seeing things from a place of desperation and had the urge to act accordingly. Right now though, I’m feeling like a much different person than even a week ago. At this moment, I’m the cool guy that could go up to any person in this coffee shop and start a conversation with them. I’m the intriguing one that people are drawn in by. Everyone here is someone I could approach.

Re-framing is a powerful thing, though not some magic pill. Consciously deciding to change how you interpret the world takes quite a lot of effort and failure is frequent and frustrating. More often than not I’m stuck in the same old position I’ve grown used to. Moments when I am able to successfully re-frame my outlook are becoming more and more frequent though. And that is something that puts a giant smile on my face.